"Drop that shit life..."
в общем фик, Акаме... ничего особенного, кроме того что он стебный
на английском.
авторство я указала, а вот ссылку на автора не могу, не сохранилась
*UPD* ссылка найдена
Setomono, спасибки
саммари:Джин возвращается после шестимесячного отсутствия, а Каме немного поправился в весе. Джин баааака..
окончание в комментах...
My little tummyAuthor: marlenem
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame (mentions of RyoUchi)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: fluff, crack
Thanks to madguitaristz for beta-ing
Disclaimer. I own nothing.
Warning: stupid/kidlover/annyoing!Jin, diva-ish!Kame
If it had been any other day, Jin would have crawled out of bed half-asleep and shuffled into the bathroom to have a quick shower against his own will that shouted for more sleep. Then, usually in half an hour’s time, he would have already been on his way to the language school to widen his English knowledge.
But this day was not like any other. It showed the way Jin literally jumped out of the bed with a huge grin on his face. He rushed into the bathroom and had his breakfast in a very good mood. After all, he was going home today, back to Japan and back to KAT-TUN. The thought itself made Jin so happy he couldn’t think of anything that could make him even more hyped up.
He didn’t know back then that there was something waiting for him in Japan what would make him even more ecstatic.
*
Jin sadly stated that the plane was flying too slowly. Well, he wasn’t really sure how fast an ordinary plane should fly but he was sure about one thing; watching from this plane, the clouds were passing by way too slowly. Jin checked the time in every other minute and counted down to the time when the plane would finally land in Japan.
To entertainment himself, he imagined what kind of a welcome party his friends were preparing right now. Maybe they were getting confetti? They’d throw that at him laughing when he entered into his apartment. Who would be there to welcome him? Many questions filled Jin’s mind…
He’ll have to listen to Junno’s new dry jokes and watch Koki kick him in the shin for every single one of them. Tatsuya will happily show him the lyrics and music he have written while Jin was away and Yuichi will be the one holding the four others back from jumping on him and squishing him to bits.
And Kazuya, Jin giggled as he conjured up the image in his mind, will of course, with lust overflowing him, drag him home impatiently, push him onto the bed and… they’ll make love until they both become unconscious. They have to make up for the six month’s lag after all.
Jin giggled again. He was only aware of his strange behavior when the stranger sitting next to him poked him hard in the arm. Jin turned to his side and smiled sweetly at a child.
“Hello, little girl,” He said with bad Japanese accent. The girl was looking back at him with huge, blue eyes.
Jin patted her silky blonde hair and his smile turned into a grin. Jin loved little kids, especially little girls.
*
He felt kind of lonely when he was about to check out at the customs. Here he was finally, at the airport but none of his friends seemed to be there to greet him and he could not even recognize his manager in the blur of people waiting excitedly for the other passengers.
Pulling his suitcases behind him, Jin made his way to the exit. That was when he realized that there were people waiting for him. But the flashes that blinded him for seconds didn’t belong to his friends’ camera but to the paparazzo’s. Oh yeah, Japan. Jin was no longer the nameless guy he had been in America.
*
He went home. Maybe his friends were waiting for him there, in a cheerfully decorated apartment with balloons and confetti, with champagne and his favorite strawberry cake. That was the only thing that would cause Jin to forgive them for not showing up at the airport.
He excitedly rattled his keys in the lock –he had to signal to all the people inside that he had arrived so they wouldn’t be too surprised once he stepped inside- and suddenly flung the door open – just to face the darkness and the stale smell of his apartment. The happiness from the morning vanished in the air.
And Jin, almost angrily, called Yamapi instead of Kazuya, Junno, Koki, Tatsuya or Yuichi (Yamapi, by the way, explained him that his band mates were arranging a press conference for his return right then so there was no point in being angry but yet Jin chose to offended at them anyway.).
*
Next day Jin pretended that he was still annoyed with the others when he arrived to the studio, but by the time he stood in front of their dressing room, the negative feeling changed back into happiness.
Knowing that his spectacular entry would not face with an empty room this time, he almost broke the door upon throwing it open. The first thing he did (of course) was to glomp Kazuya and hugged him tightly until the stylist came up and dragged him off to his hairdresser.
Jin loved to be with KAT-TUN again. Nothing had changed since his departure in October. The short period of time he had spent with them before the conference was the best thing happening to him in the past half a year. While he was translating to Junno (the guy came up to him in every other minute requesting translations for random things), he secretly cast side-looks at Kazuya. When he finally managed to catch the other’s gaze, he flashed the smile which meant the same thing in both of their dictionaries; a very tiring and private night, in Jin’s bed.
*
Ahh, how much Jin had missed this! He was not exactly an exhibitionist (though rumors and dance choreographies showed the other way) so he couldn’t do that in public. (And besides, if he did try to make a move on Kazuya, knowing the latter’s obsession with his public image, he would constantly have a nice, bright red and palm-shaped mark on his cheek.)
But now they were in Jin’s apartment and so there was nothing to stop him from pressing his lips on his lover’s hungrily and move them towards his bedroom.
“I missed you so very much,” He murmured between two kisses and Kazuya mumbleded back something incoherent while trying to get rid of Jin’s necktie and shirt. Jin grinned. He brushed their lips together lightly for a last time then he made his way to the back of his lover’s ear. He enjoyed how Kazuya shuddered under his touches.
They only realized that they had missed their original destination when Kazuya’s back hit a wall but in that moment they couldn’t care less. There were more important things to do than finding their way to the bed.
Jin literally tore the clothes off Kazuya’s body. Their stylist would most probably strangle the both of them to death tomorrow, but who cared about that during a time like this? - When Kazuya finally freed him from the irritating necktie and shirt. Jin buried his face into the other’s neck, kissing and licking it, savoring the silky skin that he missed so much. He tasted it and took in its sweet scent and skin under his lips turned to red quickly. Then, reaching the tiny nipples, he smiled against them. Teasingly, Jin left them untouched and got an unsatisfied grumbling sound in response. But the grumbling soon changed into soft moans as he licked his way down on Kazuya’s chest, down to the sexy, flat and lovely abdomen he loved to no en—
…Jin blinked…
“KAZUYA!”
The next thing Kazuya was aware of was that Jin’s lips left his navel. Suddenly strong arms encircled around his waist with the same heat they did in the studio.
“Kazuya!! Why haven’t you told me yet?” He heard Jin’s joyful voice.
“About what?” The other asked, confused.
“This is so wonderful!” Jin shrieked jubilantly. “You know, on the plane there was this little girl sitting next to me and while looking at her, that feeling came up in me again! I’m going to be a father, right?!”
“Wh-What?”
Jin let Kazuya go and meaningfully pointed at his abdomen. Kazuya looked away and blushed.
“You’re misunderstanding someth—“
“Kazuya, are you eating enough?! You’re at least in the sixth month, but your tummy is way too flat!”
Jin, having already forgotten about their plan for the night, hurried into the kitchen, obviously searching for some food.
“Jin, don’t be stupid! Guys don’t get pregnant.”
“How do you know? What about Arnold Schwarzenegger? He had that movie in which he got pregnant.”
Kazuya’s jaw dropped.
“Jiiin,” He yowled. “Jin, stop this, pleaaase,” He took the frying pan and the oil out of Jin’s hands and pressed his lips to his collarbones instead. That was one of Jin’s most sensitive spots and Kazuya expected heated reactions in response.
“Not allowed,” Came the shocking answer and Jin drew away.
“What?” Kazuya was pissed off by Jin’s stupidity. He had to wait for half a year for this and there was no way he’ll go to sleep without having sex with Jin tonight.
“Our baby might see it,” Jin explained.
“See what?”
“That! While I’m thrusting it in and pulling out of you. She’ll get a heart attack or something.”
Kazuya’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“O-kkkay,” He answered in a dangerously calm tone which suddenly frightened Jin. “I’m going to bed. Alone,”
With that, Kazuya stormed into the bedroom and locked the door behind him. He had changed his mind. Since the much awaited and extremely passionate night was ruined, he decided to put the culprit into detention. Plus, how dared that bastard think that a six months old fetus fit into his perfectly fine and flat abdomen??? Kazuya had always been vain and he had just gotten the century’s harshest criticism from the one he loved the most.
“Kazuuu, let me in!”
“No way!”
“But this is my apartment! And my bedroom!”
“Say hello to the couch. That’s yours too! Besides, maybe it has twins under it just for you!”
“Twins?” The enthusiasm was clearly evident in Jin’s voice. Kazuya rolled his eyes and regretted opening his mouth.
*
He woke up for the sound of a closing door. In the next few minutes he laid still, searching for other sounds but when he heard nothing, he decided that the area was Jin-free. He peeked out on the tiny gap between the door and the wall and saw only one pair of shoes at the entrance.
Kazuya sighed relieved and opened the door. He wanted to have a shower but the rumbling of his stomach reminded him of that he was literally dying from hunger for not eating since yesterday noon. He was already regretting that he had not accepted Jin’s dinner even if that meant he would have gotten burned toasts from him.
Stepping in the kitchen, he frowned and stared at the table. There were a dozen of sandwiches (not homemade, Kazuya thought, since they looked delicious), at least four pieces of cakes and a slice of watermelon waiting for him.
Little Kazuya in his mind kicked Jin hard several times for still being stupid and believing in his pregnancy while the real Kazuya took a sandwich. For years, everyone (with Jin being the leader) had told him that he was too skinny, and now, when he had finally gained some weight, the one he wanted to be proud the most had to make fun of him in the sickest way.
Kazuya’s hopes about a grown-up and serious Akanishi Jin coming back from America collapsed in a second of time.

авторство я указала, а вот ссылку на автора не могу, не сохранилась

*UPD* ссылка найдена


саммари:Джин возвращается после шестимесячного отсутствия, а Каме немного поправился в весе. Джин баааака..
окончание в комментах...
My little tummyAuthor: marlenem
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame (mentions of RyoUchi)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: fluff, crack
Thanks to madguitaristz for beta-ing
Disclaimer. I own nothing.
Warning: stupid/kidlover/annyoing!Jin, diva-ish!Kame
If it had been any other day, Jin would have crawled out of bed half-asleep and shuffled into the bathroom to have a quick shower against his own will that shouted for more sleep. Then, usually in half an hour’s time, he would have already been on his way to the language school to widen his English knowledge.
But this day was not like any other. It showed the way Jin literally jumped out of the bed with a huge grin on his face. He rushed into the bathroom and had his breakfast in a very good mood. After all, he was going home today, back to Japan and back to KAT-TUN. The thought itself made Jin so happy he couldn’t think of anything that could make him even more hyped up.
He didn’t know back then that there was something waiting for him in Japan what would make him even more ecstatic.
*
Jin sadly stated that the plane was flying too slowly. Well, he wasn’t really sure how fast an ordinary plane should fly but he was sure about one thing; watching from this plane, the clouds were passing by way too slowly. Jin checked the time in every other minute and counted down to the time when the plane would finally land in Japan.
To entertainment himself, he imagined what kind of a welcome party his friends were preparing right now. Maybe they were getting confetti? They’d throw that at him laughing when he entered into his apartment. Who would be there to welcome him? Many questions filled Jin’s mind…
He’ll have to listen to Junno’s new dry jokes and watch Koki kick him in the shin for every single one of them. Tatsuya will happily show him the lyrics and music he have written while Jin was away and Yuichi will be the one holding the four others back from jumping on him and squishing him to bits.
And Kazuya, Jin giggled as he conjured up the image in his mind, will of course, with lust overflowing him, drag him home impatiently, push him onto the bed and… they’ll make love until they both become unconscious. They have to make up for the six month’s lag after all.
Jin giggled again. He was only aware of his strange behavior when the stranger sitting next to him poked him hard in the arm. Jin turned to his side and smiled sweetly at a child.
“Hello, little girl,” He said with bad Japanese accent. The girl was looking back at him with huge, blue eyes.
Jin patted her silky blonde hair and his smile turned into a grin. Jin loved little kids, especially little girls.
*
He felt kind of lonely when he was about to check out at the customs. Here he was finally, at the airport but none of his friends seemed to be there to greet him and he could not even recognize his manager in the blur of people waiting excitedly for the other passengers.
Pulling his suitcases behind him, Jin made his way to the exit. That was when he realized that there were people waiting for him. But the flashes that blinded him for seconds didn’t belong to his friends’ camera but to the paparazzo’s. Oh yeah, Japan. Jin was no longer the nameless guy he had been in America.
*
He went home. Maybe his friends were waiting for him there, in a cheerfully decorated apartment with balloons and confetti, with champagne and his favorite strawberry cake. That was the only thing that would cause Jin to forgive them for not showing up at the airport.
He excitedly rattled his keys in the lock –he had to signal to all the people inside that he had arrived so they wouldn’t be too surprised once he stepped inside- and suddenly flung the door open – just to face the darkness and the stale smell of his apartment. The happiness from the morning vanished in the air.
And Jin, almost angrily, called Yamapi instead of Kazuya, Junno, Koki, Tatsuya or Yuichi (Yamapi, by the way, explained him that his band mates were arranging a press conference for his return right then so there was no point in being angry but yet Jin chose to offended at them anyway.).
*
Next day Jin pretended that he was still annoyed with the others when he arrived to the studio, but by the time he stood in front of their dressing room, the negative feeling changed back into happiness.
Knowing that his spectacular entry would not face with an empty room this time, he almost broke the door upon throwing it open. The first thing he did (of course) was to glomp Kazuya and hugged him tightly until the stylist came up and dragged him off to his hairdresser.
Jin loved to be with KAT-TUN again. Nothing had changed since his departure in October. The short period of time he had spent with them before the conference was the best thing happening to him in the past half a year. While he was translating to Junno (the guy came up to him in every other minute requesting translations for random things), he secretly cast side-looks at Kazuya. When he finally managed to catch the other’s gaze, he flashed the smile which meant the same thing in both of their dictionaries; a very tiring and private night, in Jin’s bed.
*
Ahh, how much Jin had missed this! He was not exactly an exhibitionist (though rumors and dance choreographies showed the other way) so he couldn’t do that in public. (And besides, if he did try to make a move on Kazuya, knowing the latter’s obsession with his public image, he would constantly have a nice, bright red and palm-shaped mark on his cheek.)
But now they were in Jin’s apartment and so there was nothing to stop him from pressing his lips on his lover’s hungrily and move them towards his bedroom.
“I missed you so very much,” He murmured between two kisses and Kazuya mumbleded back something incoherent while trying to get rid of Jin’s necktie and shirt. Jin grinned. He brushed their lips together lightly for a last time then he made his way to the back of his lover’s ear. He enjoyed how Kazuya shuddered under his touches.
They only realized that they had missed their original destination when Kazuya’s back hit a wall but in that moment they couldn’t care less. There were more important things to do than finding their way to the bed.
Jin literally tore the clothes off Kazuya’s body. Their stylist would most probably strangle the both of them to death tomorrow, but who cared about that during a time like this? - When Kazuya finally freed him from the irritating necktie and shirt. Jin buried his face into the other’s neck, kissing and licking it, savoring the silky skin that he missed so much. He tasted it and took in its sweet scent and skin under his lips turned to red quickly. Then, reaching the tiny nipples, he smiled against them. Teasingly, Jin left them untouched and got an unsatisfied grumbling sound in response. But the grumbling soon changed into soft moans as he licked his way down on Kazuya’s chest, down to the sexy, flat and lovely abdomen he loved to no en—
…Jin blinked…
“KAZUYA!”
The next thing Kazuya was aware of was that Jin’s lips left his navel. Suddenly strong arms encircled around his waist with the same heat they did in the studio.
“Kazuya!! Why haven’t you told me yet?” He heard Jin’s joyful voice.
“About what?” The other asked, confused.
“This is so wonderful!” Jin shrieked jubilantly. “You know, on the plane there was this little girl sitting next to me and while looking at her, that feeling came up in me again! I’m going to be a father, right?!”
“Wh-What?”
Jin let Kazuya go and meaningfully pointed at his abdomen. Kazuya looked away and blushed.
“You’re misunderstanding someth—“
“Kazuya, are you eating enough?! You’re at least in the sixth month, but your tummy is way too flat!”
Jin, having already forgotten about their plan for the night, hurried into the kitchen, obviously searching for some food.
“Jin, don’t be stupid! Guys don’t get pregnant.”
“How do you know? What about Arnold Schwarzenegger? He had that movie in which he got pregnant.”
Kazuya’s jaw dropped.
“Jiiin,” He yowled. “Jin, stop this, pleaaase,” He took the frying pan and the oil out of Jin’s hands and pressed his lips to his collarbones instead. That was one of Jin’s most sensitive spots and Kazuya expected heated reactions in response.
“Not allowed,” Came the shocking answer and Jin drew away.
“What?” Kazuya was pissed off by Jin’s stupidity. He had to wait for half a year for this and there was no way he’ll go to sleep without having sex with Jin tonight.
“Our baby might see it,” Jin explained.
“See what?”
“That! While I’m thrusting it in and pulling out of you. She’ll get a heart attack or something.”
Kazuya’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“O-kkkay,” He answered in a dangerously calm tone which suddenly frightened Jin. “I’m going to bed. Alone,”
With that, Kazuya stormed into the bedroom and locked the door behind him. He had changed his mind. Since the much awaited and extremely passionate night was ruined, he decided to put the culprit into detention. Plus, how dared that bastard think that a six months old fetus fit into his perfectly fine and flat abdomen??? Kazuya had always been vain and he had just gotten the century’s harshest criticism from the one he loved the most.
“Kazuuu, let me in!”
“No way!”
“But this is my apartment! And my bedroom!”
“Say hello to the couch. That’s yours too! Besides, maybe it has twins under it just for you!”
“Twins?” The enthusiasm was clearly evident in Jin’s voice. Kazuya rolled his eyes and regretted opening his mouth.
*
He woke up for the sound of a closing door. In the next few minutes he laid still, searching for other sounds but when he heard nothing, he decided that the area was Jin-free. He peeked out on the tiny gap between the door and the wall and saw only one pair of shoes at the entrance.
Kazuya sighed relieved and opened the door. He wanted to have a shower but the rumbling of his stomach reminded him of that he was literally dying from hunger for not eating since yesterday noon. He was already regretting that he had not accepted Jin’s dinner even if that meant he would have gotten burned toasts from him.
Stepping in the kitchen, he frowned and stared at the table. There were a dozen of sandwiches (not homemade, Kazuya thought, since they looked delicious), at least four pieces of cakes and a slice of watermelon waiting for him.
Little Kazuya in his mind kicked Jin hard several times for still being stupid and believing in his pregnancy while the real Kazuya took a sandwich. For years, everyone (with Jin being the leader) had told him that he was too skinny, and now, when he had finally gained some weight, the one he wanted to be proud the most had to make fun of him in the sickest way.
Kazuya’s hopes about a grown-up and serious Akanishi Jin coming back from America collapsed in a second of time.
@темы: Акаме
“Why haven’t you told me???” Was the first thing Jin yelled out to Yamapi once he rushed into NewS’s resting room.
“About what? Oooh… You mean Kame’s mysterious pregnancy?” So Kazuya’s first thing in the morning was to call Yamapi, Jin noted in amusement. Kazuya must be very happy right now.
Loud and teary laughter burst out of Nishikido Ryo, who was sitting at the table.
“Stop laughing! I bet you’re just jealous because Uchi-kun still doesn’t carry your kid under his heart!” The laughter grew louder as Yamapi joined Ryo in it.
“Kamenashi isn’t pregnant,” Ryo said panting from too much laughing. “He’s just fat.”
Jin gasped.
“You dog in the manger!”
*
“Kazuuu! Don’t avoid me!” Jin whined when he finally got a break between two dance practices.
Kazuya conspicuously ignored him.
“Kazuuu, lookie, I’m back from America!”
He still received no answer.
Jin put on his sexiest smile and, swinging his hips in the perfect way, went up to Kazuya.
“Be careful, the fetus may get a heart attack from your hips shaking,” Was the only answer Jin could draw out of his lover.
*
“I’m back from America!” Jin tried the thousandth time that day, “So you must have dinner with me.”
Kazuya watched him with narrowed eyes.
“I’m paying,” Jin offered.
Kazuya stared at him with the same exprеssion.
…And continued doing that for what seemed like forever to Jin.
“I want spaghetti,” Kazuya finally answered after a while.
*
The only benefit of the misunderstanding was that, Kazuya admitted to himself, that he could eat anything and as much as he wanted for free. So he ordered another piece of cake, even though he was already dizzy from the huge amount of food he had already swallowed down.
*
Their dinner reached a tragic end when Kazuya’s stomach started to hurt like never before. Jin was ready to call the ambulance (“Oh my god Kazuya, we’re going to lose the fetus!”) but the younger one somehow induced him to take him home instead (“She’s just kicking the inside of my belly in happiness,” Kazuya said though he hated how this was the only answer that could make Jin give up on his original plan).
Already inside the taxi, Kazuya wondered why Jin believed him.
In the next minute he got the witty answer from Jin to his silent question.
“Mother’s instinct never disappoints, ne~.”
Kazuya wished he had never asked… even though it was only in his thoughts.
*
Minutes later he was already resting his head on Jin’s chest while his arms tightened around his neck and waited for the elevator to reach Jin’s apartment’s floor.
It seemed that the tons of food he had eaten were too much for his stomach. He couldn’t even stand on his own feet now, so Jin had to carry him.
The next thing that made sense to him was that Jin gently laid him down on the bed and ran off for some medicine. Kazuya sighed. After that, he pulled his knees up to his chest because the pain renewed in his stomach.
*
Next morning Kazuya woke up to the feeling of something on his abdomen. With closed eyes he reached out and tried to push it away but realized that it was too strong and too heavy to move it easily. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that Jin’s head was resting on him.
“What are you doing?” He asked sleepily.
“Shhh, or else I won’t hear her. Shouldn’t she be kicking you like last night? Or at least move? If they were being twins then the movements should be twice as much as for a single kid. I want a girl, you know? I’ve always wanted one. Ah, but I want a boy too. I can’t play soccer with a girl. Ahh, it’s so hard to choose between them! You see, that’s why it would be the best to have twins. Then we could have a girl and a boy in the same time!”
“Jin, there’s nothing in me that can move,” Kazuya sighed tiredly.
“What do you mean?” Jin raised his head.
“I’m not pregnant, stupid.”
Jin’s eyes widened. And they became teary. Lastly, realization shone in them.
“So Ryo was right?”
“Why, what did he say?”
“That you were just fat.”
It took only a second for Jin (after falling on the floor hard) to comprehend that he had said something forbidden.
“Tactless asshole.”
“But Ryo said it,” Jin protected himself.
“Then both of you are tactless assholes. Better now?” Kazuya said, sitting up.
“Mouuu, Kazu…” Jin crawled back on the bed and hugged Kazuya. “I love your tummy; it looks so perfectly good on you.”
“Don’t try to placate me, it doesn’t work,” The younger one answered coldly.
“Hey, do you know what’s the positive side of that you’re not pregnant?”
“…”
“That there’s no one inside you who can see that when I move in and out of you.”
“…”
Jin slowly pushed Kazuya back on the pillow and hovered above him. Their lips soon found each other and their tongues melted together in a soft and gentle dance.
“You don’t seem to be broken knowing that we won’t have a kid,” Kazuya giggled when their lips parted.
“Well, yeah… We have plenty of time to make kids, haven’t we? We just have to be faster than Ryo and Uchi and everything will be fine,” Kazuya regretted asking again.
But Jin’s lips and teeth found his nipples which were pretty much abandoned the last time and the awakening pleasure made him forget about the earlier misunderstanding.
“Are you okay now, my little tummy?” Jin asked, caressing Kazuya’s abdomen.
“Jin, don’t speak to my belly, it gives me nightmares.”
-THE END-
не
ну нужно было, конечно, ожидать от саммари всего
но такой баки от Джина я не ждала
бедный Каме
мне тоже так каме было жалко...
но джинка тут конечно просто нечто...
мне еще понравилось как он Ре сказал - ты мол просто завидуешь, а потом еще и каме утешал, ничего, время еще есть, наверстаем*lol*
ага)) наверстаем и наверняка обгоним учи и ре
бедняга каме.... на него такие надежды возлагают
каме памятник за его ангельское терпение в этом фике.
бакаджин - мужчина моей мечты. правда занятый вторым мужчиной моей мечты.
хммм... есть, кажется.. weeping tree вроде называется... там джин вполне /относительно/ адекватный
каме памятник за его ангельское терпение в этом фике
ага
бакаджин - мужчина моей мечты. правда занятый вторым мужчиной моей мечты.
кстати, ссылка на оригинал, если что: notthelastsong.livejournal.com/6400.html
спасибки